A Good Deed

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Raymond has always been a huge Disney fan. He owns every single Disney movie you could possibly imagine. However, since the days of VHS Players are now obsolete, my mom decided it would be nice to donate all of Raymond’s old VHS Tapes to his old school, St. John of God.

So, on the way home from the dentist, my mom and Raymond stopped at the school and carried bags and bags full of VHS tapes to the office. They were very excited to see Raymond again and also very pleased with his generous donation. They said their goodbyes and got back in the car to head home for the day.

As my mom pulled into our neighborhood, Raymond started laughing and said, “Ah ha, Debi!” My mom knew that was not a good sign. He continued to laugh louder as she pulled in the driveway, so she asked “What are you laughing at?” He smiled and said, “My tapes!” as he pointed under the seat. She looked under the seat and found a bag of VHS Tapes that he hid from her.

“Raymond, that’s not nice! You were supposed to give those to your old school, remember?”

His response was, “Snooze, you lose!” My mom couldn’t help but smile at that point. He continued to laugh as he carried the bag into the house. But I’m sure he won’t be laughing when he has to go all the way back there to drop them off again!

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The Melt Down

unnamedEvery morning before Raymond goes to Communicare (a day center for handicapped adults) my mom has to frisk him. She has to check all of his pockets and his entire backpack because he always takes things to Communicare that he shouldn’t. Some examples include my mom’s cell phone, the TV remote, a banana, a golf ball, and the list goes on. So, every morning, my mom checks him from head to toe before he gets on the bus.

One day, Raymond had a dance to go to after school. He was very excited because he loves going to the school dances to bust a move. He got all dressed up in his dress pants with a nice dress shirt to impress all the ladies. My mom brought him to the school to drop him off and as usual, she frisked him before she said goodbye. There was nothing in his pockets so she headed home.

When she picked him up from the dance, he was extremely hyper from all the excitement. He said he had lots of fun, danced with all the girls, and even got a kiss on the cheek from Sarah (he says this after every dance, so we can neither confirm, nor deny if this is true). He was so excited, he wanted to go over to see Grams and Pop and tell them all about his dance. So, my mom drove over to their house so Raymond could see them.

After telling them all about his dance and how much fun he had, Raymond sat down on the couch and started watching TV. My mom sat down and started talking to my grand mom over a nice cup of coffee. They stayed for about a half an hour and then decided it was time to go.

Raymond put his shoes on and then yelled, “Oh! Ice cream!”

“No, it’s too late for ice cream Raymond, we’re going home,” my mom replied.

“No, ice cream! Pocket!” he yelled as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a melted ice cream sandwich. My mom watched in horror as the melted ice cream got all over his nice dress pants and dress shirt.

“Raymond! Where did you get that from?” she yelled as she frantically tried to wipe his shirt clean.

“I thought you checked his pockets before he left?” My grand mom asked.

“I did! Before he left the house!”

Raymond shook his head, “No home. Dance! Ice cream at dance.”

So Raymond got the ice cream at the dance and decided to put it in his pocket to save it for later. Now, we have to check Raymond’s pockets before he leaves ANY WHERE. I guess we learned our lesson!

It’s a Boy!

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As most of you know from my previous posts, Mom-mom is usually the one home to babysit Raymond. My Mom and Dad both work full time and my sister and I were always in school. So, it’s usually Mom-mom that gets him off the bus every day and watches him.

One day, after Raymond came home from school, Mom-mom had an appointment with her orthopedic doctor. Of course she couldn’t leave Raymond home alone, so he came along for the appointment.

After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Mom-mom was finally called back to meet the doctor. When the doctor came in, he shook Mom-Mom’s hand and introduced himself. He then turned to Raymond and shook his hand as well. When the doctor shook his hand, Raymond yelled, “I’m pregnant! Water broke! Hospital now!” The doctor nodded and said, “Okay” and then continued to talk to Mom-mom.

Raymond then dropped to the floor, laid on his back with his legs wide open, and started yelling, “Push! Push! Baby! Push!” The doctor and Mom-mom were quite amused at this point as Raymond continued to show off his breathing exercises and rub his “baby bump”.

Mom-mom told us all the story later at dinner and we all tried to figure out where Raymond could have learned about pregnancy from. So we asked him after dinner and he ran over to his TV in the family room and pushed the play button. He was watching the movie “Mixed Nuts” starring Steve Martin and sure enough, up on the screen, there was a woman in the middle of labor. As he played the scene for us, he laid on the floor re-enacting everything word for word and didn’t miss a beat.

We all just laughed and tried to explain to him that boys can’t have babies. He’s not giving up hope though – to this day he still rubs his belly every once and a while and groans, “Baby?” Maybe one day Ray!

Where’s Raymond? Episode 10

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One cold mid-December night, my mom was at a Christmas party and my dad was called into work because of the snow. I was at home with Raymond, MacKenzie and good old Mum-mum, who was babysitting as usual. I was in the living room with MacKenzie watching iCarly when I heard a huge bang. I immediately jumped up and said, “Crap! Where’s Raymond?” Kenzie ran upstairs to look and I headed towards the laundry room because I thought that’s where the bang came from. I looked around the laundry room and couldn’t find anything wrong, but then I heard a faint grunting noise. I stepped outside and listened for the voice again. It took a minute, but I heard Raymond’s voice, struggling and grunting, coming from behind the coat closet door.

I opened the closet door to find pieces of the ceiling all over the floor and Raymond’s feet dangling above me. I knew right away what had happened. He must have some how gotten into the attic and stepped on some of the unfinished flooring and fell through. Luckily, we have a very high shelf in our coat closet that we use for storage, so he landed on the shelf and didn’t fall all the way through to the floor.

“Raymond, don’t move!” I screamed. I had MacKenzie run up to the attic and try to pull him back up while I ran upstairs to tell Mum-mum. When we finally got him back up through the attic, he was very upset and had scrapes all over his calves and thighs. He started crying, so I brought him in the bathroom and cleaned him up with some Neosporin and Band-Aids, while Mum-mum called my dad.

My dad came home and tried to fix the hole in the ceiling while Mum-mum vacuumed and picked up all the pieces off the floor. They were trying to clean it all up before Debi came home. I thought it was wrong that they were doing that, so I went into the kitchen to call my mom and tell her what had happened. She was very angry and upset at first, but she was fine once she found out that Raymond was okay. I told her not to tell anyone that I told her, so when she came home, she acted surprised when Raymond, as usual, ratted himself out. He showed her the Band-Aids all over his legs so she asked what had happened and that’s when Mum-mum and dad finally told her. No worries though, the ceiling is fixed now and we found a new hiding place for the attic key.

 

Joyride

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As I mentioned in a previous post, Raymond loves to go golfing with my dad. Whenever my dad was playing in tournaments with his friends from work, my mom would drop Raymond off, they would let him play one or two holes, then my mom would pick him up again. Every summer, my dad plays in the Mayor’s Cup Tournament with friends from work. It’s a scramble style tournament, which makes it very easy for Raymond to play along. This year, my dad was playing with his friend Steve, and two random players that ended up not showing up.

My mom dropped Raymond off to my dad and Steve as they started the fifth hole. My dad and Steve left Raymond sit in the golf cart as they headed to the tee box to tee off (I bet the moms reading can already see where this is going). Apparently someone (neither will admit who it was) left the key in the ignition of the gold cart. Oh boy.

Of course, Raymond got behind the wheel and slammed on the gas pedal. My dad and Steve hollered after him, but there was no stopping Raymond. Oh, I guess I should mention that the fifth hole is practically surrounded by a huge lake. So, Raymond’s behind the wheel of a golf cart, going at full speed, heading straight for the lake, and he can’t swim. No big deal.

My dad has a bad knee, so in this situation, he was practically useless. But luckily, Steve went running towards Raymond and managed to hop on to the cart and turned the key before it plunged into the lake. If you’re picturing this like a scene from an action movie, you’re picturing it correctly. Steve was now a hero. My poor mother can’t leave Raymond anywhere it seems.

Where’s Raymond? Episode 9

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It was a beautiful summer day and my dad was outback grilling, while my mom was shucking corn. Raymond was about 9 years old and it was our first summer in our new house. Mum-mum was setting the table and noticed Raymond was no longer in the family room. She poked her head out the back door and asked, “Ray, did Raymond come out here?” Before my dad could even answer, my mom jumped into action. Where’s Raymond?

They ran through the whole house and couldn’t find him, so they ran to the front yard, yelling his name. They ran up and down the yard, up and down the street, and there was no sign of him. My dad hopped in his truck and started driving slowly around the block, looking for him. As he was making his way back to the house, he noticed someone, about 3 houses away, standing on his porch looking quite bewildered. My dad stopped the truck and approached the guy, who my dad said couldn’t have been any older than 22.

“Hey, have you seen a kid running around anywhere? We’re looking for my son, Raymond.”

“Yes, I have.” he replied, “I think he’s in my house.” My dad didn’t look surprised. This certainly isn’t the first time that Raymond has wandered into someone’s house.

The guy continued, “I was sleeping on the couch and next thing you know, some kid comes in and pushes me off the couch. He pushed me right onto the floor and sat in my spot, watching the TV. I didn’t know where he came from, or how he got in, so I just came out front figuring someone would come looking for him.”

They headed inside the house and as soon as Raymond saw my dad, he ran upstairs. Just as my dad was about to follow him up the stairs, a huge dog came running down the steps and jumped on my dad. Raymond hid behind the dog and laughed. The guy grabbed the dog off of my dad and then my dad grabbed Raymond off the step and took him home.

My dad was wondering why he didn’t recognize this neighbor at all, since we had already met most of the neighbors. Apparently, the guy was just home from college for the weekend, visiting his mom. I’m sure he had quite the story to tell all his friends though about the nine year old that snuck into his house and pushed him off the couch!

 

Down the Train

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It was a typical day at the Carr household (I love starting my stories with that line, mainly because I love irony. There is no such thing as a typical day at the Carr household). Raymond was in the basement playing with his trains. Mom and dad were at work and who knows where MacKenzie and I were. Raymond decided to get a little creative with his trains and brought them upstairs to Mum-mum’s room.

He put one of his Thomas trains in the toilet of Mum-mums bathroom and flushed it. After he flushed it, he ran down to the basement and listened to the sound of the water flushing through the pipes. He looked all over for his train (we’re assuming he thought it was going to come out of the pipes) and when he couldn’t find it, ran back upstairs.

This time, he tried the regular upstairs bathroom. He put poor Percy in the toilet, flushed, and again ran down to the basement in an attempt to catch his trains at the bottom. Nothing. But third time’s a charm, right? He ran up the stairs to the ground floor bathroom and flushed another train along with a Scooby Doo toy. He ran back down the basement and was very upset that he could not find his trains. When he ran back up to Mum-mum’s bathroom, it was overflowing. Water was everywhere.

“Mum-mum!” he yelled down the stairs, “Mum-mum, water!”

Mum-mum made her way up the stairs and desperately tried to unclog the toilet.

“Thomas, Mum-mum! My train!” he cried.

“Did you put your train down there Raymond?”

“Yes! My Thomas!”

She sighed and called my father (who works for the MUA) to tell him what happened. HE came home right away to try and fix the toilet. He had to take the entire toilet off the seal and call a friend from work in order to unclog it. While they were waiting for him to get there, I tried to use the upstairs bathroom and noticed that it was overflowing as well. So, I went and told my dad, who didn’t believe me at first. But Mum-mum followed me to the bathroom and I was telling the truth, there was water everywhere.

Mum-mum and I started grabbing towels to wipe up the mess while my dad took that toilet off the seal as well. He was really not happy now.

“Did you put Thomas anywhere else Raymond?” he asked, half sarcastically.

“No…” Raymond replied, “Scooby Doo!”

“Scooby Doo? You put Scooby Doo in the toilet?”

“Yes! Downstairs!” he exclaimed.

My dad headed downstairs to check it out, and sure enough, that toilet was overflowing as well. So he took it off the seal, just as his friend arrived to help him unclog it. So he brought the toilet out front and left it in the driveway so it was out of the way. I don’t remember how they actually unclogged the toilets, but I do remember having to shove my hand down the pipe and reach for the trains, since I had the smallest hands. That’s certainly something I’ll never forget. Plus, you can bet Debi was surprised when she came home from work to an MUA truck in the street and a toilet in the driveway. There’s a sight you don’t always see!

Where’s Raymond? Episode 8

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It was another typical day in the Carr household; everyone was busy doing their own individual daily activities. I was probably playing video games, MacKenzie was probably doing homework, my dad was in the shower, and my mom was running around like a chicken with its head cut off like a typical mother of three. Mum-mum was upstairs in her bedroom, as was Raymond…or so we thought.

My mom comes flying down the stairs, “Where’s Raymond?” No one knew where he was, so as per usual, we’re running around the house yelling his name, no one is responding. So we head out front and start walking down the street, yelling for him and knocking on a few doors. My dad suggested that we get in the cars and drive around the entire development so we can look quicker. My mom ran back toward the house to grab the car keys.

As she was headed up the driveway and she passed her car, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. She stopped and turned back to look in the car window, and there was Raymond, sitting in the driver’s seat. My mom let out a sigh of relief and opened the car door, “Raymond, what are you doing?” He just smiled and said, “I drive Debi!” The scariest thing about the incident is that Raymond had found my mom’s keys. Luckily, it was the house key that he had in the ignition, but imagine if he had found the right key. Would he have started the car? Would he have known how? Would he know how to put the car in drive? Where would he have gone? These are the unanswered questions, but honestly, I think we’re better off not knowing the answer.

Spa Day

One day about 9 or ten years ago, I was at home with Mum-mum and MacKenzie. MacKenzie and I were playing with dolls in the basement when my Mum-mum called me upstairs. She had dinner on the stove, so she asked me if I would run upstairs to check on Raymond. Of course I didn’t want to, but I did anyway. I started running up the stairs, but slowed down when I noticed something all over the steps. I stopped to bend down for a closer look and found clumps of hair all over. They were too light too be Raymond’s and way too long to be Raymond’s. MacKenzie was downstairs with me, and so was Mum-mum, so who’s hair is this?

I walked up to his bedroom door, which was shut and locked. I knocked and knocked, screamed and hollered, but he would not let me in. I remembered seeing my mom hide a key on the ledge at the top of Mum-mum’s bedroom door. So, I grabbed the chair from my room and grabbed the key to let myself in. It took me a few tries, but finally I managed to open the door to find Raymond sitting on his bedroom floor.

He was obviously surprised to see that I got in, but not as surprised as I was by what I saw. There were scissors on the floor, shampoo and powder was everywhere, a permanent marker lying at the end of his bed with the cap still off, and to my horror, he had my American Girl doll (I named her Crystal) in his lap. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Her hair was practically gone and she had powder and shampoo all over her undressed body. Worst of all, right in the middle of her stomach, Raymond had written the words, “Raymond’s doll, not Courtney’s” in permanent marker.

Before he could say a word, I screamed. I remember I screamed so loud that Mum-mum came flying up the stairs because she thought I was dying. I screamed and cried as loud as I could until my eyes couldn’t produce any more tears. My favorite doll, my beautiful, American Girl Doll was ruined. When our parents came home, they were quick to reprimand him and comfort me, but at the age of 11, I was certainly one to hold a grudge. Let’s just say, I was mad at him for a long time and I never received a new American Girl Doll.

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Where’s Raymond? Episode 7  

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One early Sunday morning, my dad was going golfing and my mom was headed off to church with me. My mom tried to convince Raymond to either go golfing with my dad, or come to church with us because she hates to leave him home. Of course, Raymond didn’t want to either, so we left him home with Mum-mum and MacKenzie. Kenzie was still asleep and Mum-mum was upstairs getting dressed. Mum-mum told us that she would be down in a minute and we were running late, so we left. I was an alter server for 7:30 am mass, so as per our usual Sunday routine, my mom dropped me off at 7:15, went to my grand moms for a cup of coffee, and then made it back to church by the start of mass.

My mom and my grand mom always sat in the first pew whenever I alter served (to embarrass me I suppose). But as my mom sat down, she had a very weird, uneasy feeling. Something was telling her that she should go back home, so she did. She got up and left about 10 minutes into the service.

As she was pulling in to our development, she saw Raymond running up the sidewalk in his bright yellow winter coat. She quickly pulled over and jumped out of the car after him. When she caught up to him she said, “Where are you going?” and he said, “Golfing with dad!” She shook her head, put him in the car and headed back to church. Don’t worry, after church she did take him to golf with my dad. The moral of this story to all of you mother out there is to always trust your motherly instinct. You have one whether you know it or not and 99% of the time, it’s right. So always listen to it!